A few years ago, Polly and I were a mess in some areas of our life. We were unhappy with our finances, fitness and spiritual lives, just to name a few.  But since then, we have learned some important keys to earning happiness in those, and other areas, of our lives.

The other day, I realized that I feel a lot happier and fulfilled than I used to.  This blog post is a result of my trying to understand why.  After some consideration, I realized that this positive change is due to our acquiring the tools for planning our own happiness.

In the past, I was operating with a damage-control mind-set.  Instead of living intentionally, life was happening to us–just rolling us over.  This led to a sense of powerlessness and lack of control.

We realized that in order for us to be happy,  we had to take control of these areas of our life–we had to be in the driver seat, take ownership, stop the whining, etc…

The next step toward earning our happiness was to create a plan. So, in the area of finance, we created a budget. Now, we do a written cash budget every month.  We know where each dollar goes.  We use mint.com to track and label each expense so that we have a crystal clear picture of where we are putting our money.  I’ll be honest, this is a difficult area for us, but as we become more disciplined, we are hitting our goals of paying down debt and saving.  This has been a gradual, step by step change for us.  A sense of winning and control has emerged as we have chipped away, month after month.  But, our work never would have begun without a plan.

Last Spring,  Polly and I got into an argument. I felt like I wasn’t getting enough personal time to read and do the things that I like to do. As we hashed through the reasons I was feeling this way, we realized that this lack of time was completely my fault. I was trying to blame the lack of time on her and Mae… The reality was that I needed evaluate how I was spending my time, and create a plan.  So, I laid out our daily schedules to carve out this time.  I discovered that the best time for everyone was in the morning–before Polly and Mae woke up.  So now, five days a week (generally), I spend an hour or so reading without much distraction.  My time in the morning is so important to me now, but I had to plan for it.

As a culture, we esteem values that are measurable like beauty, wealth, power and fame (to name a popular few). And because of this, our worth as individuals is often measured against these same values. It’s fairly easy to measure if someone is beautiful, famous, wealthy or powerful. It is tempting to believe that true life and meaning lies in obtaining and aligning ourselves with these types of metrics. There is no shortage of marketers, willing to take our money, who “help” us align ourselves with these values. We are told that fulfillment and meaning lies in pursuing these external, measurable values.

But the reality is, that there are many beautiful, rich people who are totally miserable.  And, by contrast, there are unattractive poor people that are overflowing with joy and living a full life. How is this? Why is this?

The truth is, that the really important values in life, the ones that provide meaning and cause us to live beautiful lives, are not easily measured and not easily obtained. In fact, its hard to talk about them, quantify them or teach people how to develop them. They are less clear than a beautiful, symmetrical face or a nice body. These immeasurable values are so much more vital to our happiness, fulfillment and meaning than the measurable ones, yet much more difficult to grasp. Think about it.  If I want to appear rich, I could go to the store right now and purchase some clothes that would signal to the rest of the world that I have exceptional taste and am rich. But, I cannot go to the store and purchase  life-enhancing character traits like patience, love, kindness or honesty. No, to obtain these things, my soul has to undergo some seriously difficult change that money cannot buy.

We take hold of these life-giving traits by way of love.  As we are wooed by the love of God, we are drawn to love Him–we begin to want to want Him.  As we love Him, we begin to love others.  As a byproduct of all of these things, we begin to see a new value system and character traits that spring up within:

• love
• joy
• peace
• patience
• kindness
• goodness
• faithfulness
• gentleness
• self-control

Our internal world shapes our entire experience with life.  So, doesn’t it make sense to work from the inside out?

I did not expect to care for you like this

I wish you knew God, so at least you would have some consolation

Down here we cling to Mae

Her new smile reminds us all of what you have left behind

We wish we could cling to you too.

Prepare meals for you

Chat with you

Forever.

But we know we cannot.

We rush around, preparing for the future

The din and the clanging

While you sit upstairs alone

enjoying the fresh apple pie we made for you.

These days we cannot love you enough

And we hurt for you as you slowly slip

Away from yourself

And away from us.

And I truly hope, beyond hope

That God, in his infinite love

Will scoop you up.

“If You Aim at Nothing, You will hit it every time.”

- Zig Ziglar

In the past two years goals have become increasingly important to me. In these two years a lot has changed in my life: I started a new job with more responsibilities, my daughter Mae was born,  my wife started working part-time so she could stay home with Mae, and its been non stop since then. In this craziness, as life becomes busier with more responsibilities, I have found it to be more important than ever to have a structure to life– a frame to help me make decisions and a guide to help me live intentionally. Goals help me create practical steps that enable me to achieve my hopes. Dave Ramsey says, “Goals are visions and dreams with work clothes on.”

I would like to share a resource that has been very helpful to me in the area of goal setting. It is a simple tool that some of you may be familiar with. I borrow the following structure from Zig Ziglar. Ziglar suggests that in order for our lives to be meaningful and successful as a whole we must address 7 distinct areas of our lives, and set goals in each of them. These seven areas make up the spokes on the wheel. These areas are:

1. Career
2. Financial
3. Spiritual
4. Physical
5. Intellectual
6. Family
7. Social

As we set goals in these areas it is important to create objectives that are:  specific, measurable and have a time limit.  Some examples (not my own goals), per the above list might be:

1. I will read 4 books on leadership and management in the next three months
2. I want to make $250,000 per year in 3 years.
3. I will read the Bible three times per week.
4. I will lose 20lbs by spring
5. I want a college degree in physics within 6 years.
6. I want to spend one quality night with family members per week
7. I want to have dinner with six couples in the next two months.

It is important to write the goals down on paper and perhaps share them with someone you trust for accountability.

I have found this list to be very helpful since it hits the key areas in my life. It guides me through thinking through my life thoughtfully. It helps me lead life on purpose, It prevents me from feeling like life is rolling me over. More than anything it helps me take ownership of my life, which might be the most important benefit of all.

When I see her and sense our love

I know it is divine.

Our love is divine.

It is of God, and its nature is of God.

When I touch her, I am not merely touching her–

That is the tragedy of lust–

No, when I touch her…I experience God.

To be one with her is to know the heart of God.

This is the blessing, it is two fold:

That I would know the beauty of the work of His hands in my hands

and know her creator.

This is my privilege:  to know God through her.

She is embellished with the heart of her creator.

As I know her, as I experience the gift of that love,

It’s as if I have my ear held close to the beating chest of my creator.

The wind whips up a cloud of dust

Just as it did in the days of the Great Depression

You saw those days as a young boy,

As you learned what the earth could mean to you

Yes, you loved the mountains and her trails

The crunch of the dry earth, and the rocks beneath your feet

I imagine you will visit the Rockies again someday–

Carried there by some westerly wind

On the day of your memorial, my father chose to wear his nicest pair of black leather shoes

He plucked them from the back of his closet, where they reside in darkness most days

And against the black asphalt, outside the church,

As the sun cut through the cold,

I noticed they were covered in dust

I like to think he didn’t wipe them off because he didn’t want to forget you

Welcome!

Over the next few weeks and months I hope to develop this website into a place where I can chronicle my thoughts on a variety of subjects. You can expect to find a focus on intuitive faith, leadership, business and poetry. My hope is to explore the divine in unexpected places.

I hope this site becomes a source of enrichment for you. Thanks for visiting.